100wc by Jessica

2014
06.04

Suddenly I woke up, looked around, I was in a pitch black tunnel! I creeped to the end of the tunnel and there was a gate way to the woods. Out of the blue I heard a noise it sounded like my friend (lucy) I was running towards the woods yelling” lucy lucy lucy where are u” I sherched every where in the woods but she wasnt there. I started to get cold ; tired but I dont know where I was. I started to shuffle along the road. finally I got to my house and there was lucy on my door step looking so terrified and frittend…… what do you think happend to lucy?

2 Responses to “100wc by Jessica”

  1. jess5 says:

    Suddenly I opened my eyes, glerd around, I was in a pitch black tunnel! I creeped to the end of the tunnel and there was a gate way to the woods. Out of the blue I heard screeching noise it sounded like my friend (lucy) I was sprinting towards the woods yelling” lucy lucy lucy where are u” I sherched every where in the gloomy woods but she wasnt there. I started to get cold ; tired but I didn’t know where I was. I started to shuffle along the road. finally I got to my house and there was lucy on my door step looking so terrified and frittend…… what do you think happend to lucy?

  2. withern blog says:

    well done for engaging the reader at the end
    good use of gerend at the start
    it looses coherency at the start

    Read carefully to check your work. Well done

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