100 wc by zoe :-)

2014
06.04

It was midday, I was running to the gateway with holly (my friend) we was exploring a enclosed feild, full of trees and wild plants.We found a path way so me and Holly followed the path, it led us to a black area Holly and I had bourght a light with us we sumbeld arround and I shouted look I have found something it was a big, old house that is falling apart we had to be carefull, there was loads of bricks and dirt falling nere us, we was temted to turn back but holly said “NO”. I found the door and opend it sat on a chair was my old friend natasha. I said “why are you here” natasha replied “this is my hide out “Holly said we have got to go now so we went…

2 Responses to “100 wc by zoe :-)”

  1. William says:

    Hi good work

    Star good use of brackets for extra information
    Star good reporting verbs
    Wish add punctuation throughout sentences are long
    William

  2. William says:

    Hi good piece of writing

    Star. Good use of brackets for extra information.
    Star. Good use of reporting verb “replied” in the last sentence.
    Wish. You could check punctuation throughout as some sentences are a bit long.

    William

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